Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
