Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
