I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
