You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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