Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
there is glitter all over my balls
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
