The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
