So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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