There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
