You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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