she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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