then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
