I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
