Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
