I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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