are you still at the devil's house?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
