yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Im part way to drunk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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