just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
