so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
