I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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