if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
