i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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