I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
