Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I am morally bankrupt
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
