i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
