ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i already hear my dad disowning me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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