I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
