What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
