In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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