did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
