My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
