would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
