i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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