If that was your dad, he is hot
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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