even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
