It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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