I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
