Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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