so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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