This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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