i just sent this text using only my big toe
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
