What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
