If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
