nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
