you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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