it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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