I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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