Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This house was built for laser tag.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
