Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
