At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
