Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
