girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think my moral compass just broke
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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