I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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