ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
