Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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