I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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