I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
