Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i believe in u and ur pee
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
